Don't Panic

Since the past few weeks of life have seemed mutually contradictory, I have decided to celebrate the sheer impossibility of sanity by including in my return to the blogosphere some of my favorite quotes from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series by Douglas Adams. Enjoy.

He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

happy birthday to me!

do you understand me when i tell you that i feel like i'm channeling ryan m. with that subject line?

rats off to ya!

i'm ringing in my official birthday with another rousing bout of insomnia. i can't get no sleep, people. i should mention that this includes watching "the little mermaid" animated series on the disney channel. on this morning's episode, the bad luck monster is rescued by ariel, who names it lucky, then some nonsense with ursula, the king lightning-blasts some stuff with the trident, and lucky the bad luck monster has babies. could happen to anyone, right?

let's review the year with some of my favorite quotes by some of my favorite people!

"when has annette ever woken up nice and cheery? if she has i missed it and i feel cheated." -gabe, because little brothers are the LOL in my life

"i'm waiting to hear from you... like an assistant." -brett, my former assistant, who is now LIKE MY BOSS :)

"i wish i had some taco bell... i've been craving a hamburger all day." -my mom, when she was sick and all tripped out on nyquil

"i can't live without the peen." -mel, cracking me up

"cheers to myself." -ryan m. (do you get the question about my subject line now?)

"i am not going to be sold for 2 rubles. i'm at least worth a billion. which is about ten dollars." -brett"

"she's probably the ladyest lady ever." -cyruss

"it's as easy as changing 'i love you, baby' to 'i love you, jesus.'" -courtney, explaining the logistics of pop to contemporary christian conversion in music

"it's like whiskey is my spinach. if i were popeye. ya know?" -matt

"i'm too good to laugh, i know what a spleen does. i know the difference between glue and paste." -courtney, pretending to be phil... sorry, phil.

"can you pretend to be my wife? wait a minute, let me retract that. i don't have many straight guy friends to parade you around to, so my return on investment wouldn't be very high." -matt, to me

"can't believe it, can't believe i'm in love." -ryan m.'s version of "bleeding love"

"you want me to drive? i'm drunk enough to drive." -drunk kaysie

"you ain't knowin' what i got shit." -drunk matt's response to drunk kaysie

"you're puerto rican. you're never drunk. you're just complacent." -shane, to me

"my weave itch." -mel, impersonating someone else

"my wee bitch." -ryan m., impersonating mel impersonating someone else

LOL!

that is my year in laughter, people. only the gems.

hopefully the coming year will only provide more fun.